Friday, March 6, 2009

Hit a Wall

I thought I would post to just mention that I have not died or left my family and gone on vacation alone. I just seem to be at a place where I am emptied out. Not in a depressed sort of way, but just feel like all my energy is going into my children for the week. I have been very discouraged in their behavior. I have gotten lazy in training them and have allowed them to begin questioning me. I am calling them to first time obedience or face the consequences. My youngest has gotten in the habit of totally not completing tasks that I tell him to do. I am always so busy I forget I told him or when I realize he didn't do something we are trying to do something else. My kids are speaking so ugly with their attitude to one another. It is just time to stand up firm in what we expect and let them know that it will not be accepted.

It has been three weeks that I have not done the coupon deals. I just keep trying to eat from my pantry and put off going to the store. It seems like a mountain at the moment. I hope it encourages others who are struggling with couponing to know that even people who always do it need a break once in awhile.

I am coming across women that have allowed me knowledge of issues in their lives that, some of them, seem almost unimaginable to me. It makes me feel the bubble that I have lived in my life. My heart is burdened for them and I feel the weight as I try to take them to the Lord in prayer. I have never been a big person of mercy and interception so this is new to me to feel so much for them. I have the gift of exhortation and am a "Hey, come out of the pit and let's figure out how to move forward." kind of person. These people have issues that have no answers that they are in control of.

It also seems that God is working somehow in that everywhere I turn I am being confronted with someone directly asking me what the Bible says or they say that the Bible says something that is incorrect and I have to outwardly quote the Bible and be bold. I have known that I have studied the Bible and grown, but the thought of having to defend it with someone that is a strong personality and debater was terrifying to me. I think God is showing me that He will be with me to help me remember and be able to be bold.

I hope to be back next week and I hope to finish some projects. I am going to have to start couponing because we are eating up a lot of my food. Have you ever felt that you are on the cusp of the place you are in and relief is just around the corner? In the Esther study one of our lessons had that in it. When you are waiting on God to show up and you just know that when He does that it will be good.


momstheword said...

Oh yes, my friend. I think we've all been there in one way or another with our kids and with our lives.

When my kids were younger I did "Yes, Mom" training. You give them instructions of things to do (be sure and mix some fun ones in there) and for every time they say "yes mom" and go do it without complaining (and then come back) they get an m&m.

I did things like Son #1 pour water on the floor, Son #2 please clean it up. Son #1 go pat the dog on the head. Son #2 go fold a load of laundry....etc.

You also keep them by your side during the training phase because if they aren't learning to behave and be obedient and respectful, then they cannot possibly be trusted to be out of your sight, right? (Least that's what I told them.)

Plus, they get bored just sitting on the floor next to you so they learn alot more quickly, lol! There were a few times I had to threaten to return to "Yes, Mom" training for a refresher course (I think the last time my oldest was 14).

When they were younger I enforced a sibling play time for 30 minutes and each day they took turns deciding what to do. I did this because of the reasons you mentioned. They were not treating each other very well and I wanted them to get closer.

Raising kids can be challenging, exhausting and rewarding. Thank God that you have your priorites straight and are able to do what you need to do to be with them, even if it means cutting down on blogging on those days. Good for you!

Michelle said...

I know what you mean...Good luck with your time and hope to see you back next week!

Kids can be difficult but I can tell your priorities and faith will see you through this.

Tami said...

I'm praying for you, girl. I've been tired too. I think a lot of mine has been the sickness that is wearing me out. So I know how it is to feel this way. I am lifting you up in prayer now.

Mrs. Darling said...

Yep Ive been there! Hang on! You shall come through come through this and it will get better! Prayers and hugs!

susan said...

Ran across your blog tonight by accident...but then you know nothing is by accident. Take comfort in knowing kids will test you. It's normal. They will turn out :). I pray that God will refresh your strength and spirit. Proverbs 3:5-6

smilernpb said...

Oh dear, sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I too sometimes think I am talking to myself, but then again my children are six and (nearly) four, so I guess it's to be expected. As yours are older, have you tried talking to them, and explaining how you are feeling to them. I don't know if it would work, but you never know.

On a lighter note, being a regular follower of your blog, I had wondered if anything was wrong as you've been blogging less often, so it's nice to know that you are still alive and well, even if you are a bit stressed out.

Try and get some 'you' time, doing whatever makes you happy. Things will improve. Thinking of you.

Marva said...

Hang in there! Praying for you! Blessings!