Friday, February 6, 2009

I am so tired!

I still have not gained a lot of energy after being sick. I am constantly tired and just wipe out after the smallest thing that I do. I have put one coat on our master bath and have let it sit all week. Tomorrow I have to put the final coat on because Darryl has to put the toilet back. Last weekend he opened the garage door and saw a big brown stain in the ceiling. Our bath is over the garage. He tore into the ceiling and fixed the problem leak at our toilet, so he had to pull up the toilet. Tomorrow he has to repair all the ceiling sheetrock and insulation and put the toilet back - so I have to finish painting before he gets in there. I can't wait to show before and after photos! We could just leave the hole to the toilet and have a moonroof in the garage!

Darryl has taken three of the kids to play paintball. He takes them on a birthday date. The kid gets to pick out an activity and where they want to eat. Well, we had a December 22nd, January 16th and then Caitlyn never got her date in June so they just did a combined date tonight. I think Caitlyn was nervous about the paintballs hurting. Kyle is at home, he is too young and also went on his date so he is not a happy camper. The above photo is before they left.
I want feedback. I was having a conversation with my husband today about Facebook. I had this conversation somewhat when I started my blog. I feel that blogs and Facebook are fun but I do not like to add male friends. I feel that it is a dangerous thing that Christians are getting into where you are opening up your life to the opposite sex. You get to know one another personally and it is similar to peeking at someones diary and photos without having to make yourself known. I think many people are opening up relationship lines that would not be opened in real life. It is not that I am fearful for any personal reason, I just think many people are letting their guard down and are not keeping the proper guard over their eyes and heart. I think that is sets up an availability for a situation where someone who is struggling could "play" with their thought life or further. I have a couple of men that I am friended with but have only been to one of the sites- and it was to try to see photos of their family- they are old friends and she doesn't have an account- I would not enter into conversations with him other than to ask how his wife is. In retrospect I wish I would not have even accepted the friend requests. Not that I think anything of them, I just think that the line is before me to set and that is to make the decision now rather than later. I guess you can see I am a black and white person. I make decisions and stand by them, without all the guilt that a lot of people feel. So, what do you think? Am I coo-coo? (Not that it will change my opinion- just fun to see what others think) And, I am not judging anyone else with a different opinion, I just personally feel that I see where it could open up problems and have decided that I will not allow it in my life.
Edit: A thought came to me last night after writing- when I was wondering if I sounded like a fool- Facebook and blog comments are like today's version of a phone call or a note sent- so would it be alright to send that person a note or call them? If the answer is "no" then you are playing with an area where you are letting your guard down. Why is it okay to have a relationship in Facebook that would not be okay through a phone line.


Valarie Lea said...

I think that your decision is fine. I think its something that each person must decide. I do have guy friends on my facebook, but I consider it more as aquantance (sp) than anything else. Pretty much most of the ones I have are old friends from high school or I go to church with, or they are my family.

I have a friend who just went through a divorce the last couple of years. She is remarried now and her and her new husband made the decision together not to have a facebook or myspace, just so they would not have any bad outside influences.

Marva said...

it is personal, but you are RIGHT! Without a shadow of a doubt......just my opinion! I do not think you are coo-coo!

John and I had a problem......anyhow, our pastor told us that any married man doesn't need "relationships" with other females other than his wife and family. Work is one thing, at a professional level. Our problem happened to be at his work. All better now. We do not facebook and probably all the better for us.

You are right, when you start social whatever it is called on the open lots of doors........of ALL kinds!

Great post! Let us know what you do! blessings and I hope you get your strength back soon!

Butterfly 211 said...

You know even though I do have males on my facebook I may just delete them. This is so true. I totally agree with you. Because its different when you are writing to someone as opposed to actually talking in person. Very good post.

Wendy said...

As a married women, I have no room for a male friendship of any kind.

My husband and I are leaders in our Sunday School class and have 4 couples in our group that we are to contact every week. We take turns calling, but he calls the guys and I call the girls. If the guy answers I just leave a message for the wife.

I understand where you are coming from, thanks for speaking up about this subject.

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Christy said...

Well, I had never thought of it like that before. I see your point. I do have male friends on my facebook, and Dwight has female friends. I guess I view it as being so public (everybody can see what you write on their wall) so it doesn't bother me. However, I do see the potential for abuse with there being the option of sending personal mail. It's definitely something to think about and I appreciate your insight. You are a very wise lady.

I do hope that you start to feel fully recovered soon. You're much too busy a person to feel tired!

Becc said...

First off, I have no idea how you have time to blog, do Facebook, take care of your home, and family! I must be doing something wrong!

I agree with you whole-heartedly! I think, man or woman, you have to look at how it would make you feel, if the shoe was on the other foot.

Anonymous said...

I think that it is each persons individual decision and what ever you decide is fine for you. That said, I also think your views and words show that your naive and sheltered. Your very blessed to have been with your man since (let's face it forever!)
I personally believe friendships are friendships and if your lucky enough to find someone in this world who makes an amazingly great and wonderful friend gender aside keep them! *LIFE IS TOO SHORT* Plus, there are way too many mean folks in the world so if I find someone who wants to be a true friend I don't look at gender I look at friendship. That said, I say stick with the ladies!!!!

Jamie Lea said...

I agree with you, I have facebook and I have male friends but I added my male friends before I gave it much thought. I'd feel terrible deleting friends but I don't make it known (very often) that i'm online.
I would never want my husband "chatting" with another lady and so I won't do it either. Facebook is very addicting and I can see where it would be easy to get into trouble there.
I'm not naive and/or sheltered *lol* and I've loved my husband for, well ever. ;-) I enjoyed this post, very well said.

Southerner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
momstheword said...

I do not have a facebook or anything like that, but I totally understand your thinking.

I do not have male friendships in which I sit there and talk with them on the phone frequently or email them, however, we do have family friendships in which we get together as a family so I do have a couple of men who are like brothers to me.

One of them came to visit one time but my husband wasn't home, so (since he knows how careful I am) he offered to wait outside in his car until my husband came home.

We have rules with our children about how to behave with girls so I have to make sure that I am not alone with a man without my husband around. We want to avoid even the appearance of evil, as it says in Proverbs.

With the facebook, I don't think that I would feel to bad about giving men access to it as they may be brother's in Christ who are just interested in your whole family as a whole, and interested in praying for you all, etc.

However, if it is a bit of an intimate diary setting, like you said and almost like you're having conversations with your girlfriends than I can see what you mean.

You are right about being careful about building any relationship with a man. So if you feel the Lord leading you, then I see nothing wrong with explaining it to the men and removing them or whatever.